What did Mersey reveal about herself – domme and editor of a BDSM magazine?

Mersey, an editor, describes herself as a bedroom witch. She makes a living by writing and has her fun with sex.

She has her own slave to look after and edits the BDSM magazine on the website of the sex shop Vibrátory.net. What did she tell us about herself and her work — and what did she let slip about the shop’s readers and customers?

Hi Mersey, to start us off: how did you actually become a domme?

Hi. I used to be pretty reserved and shy about sex. Then I went all the way from vanilla to a slave contract. Thanks to various people I gradually unlocked the mysteries and oddities of sex, and they quite literally changed my life. The two most valuable things I learned, the ones that shaped my bedroom career, came to me at the gym and in front of the television.

The television I understand — films can teach you a lot. But the gym?

At the gym I had a brilliant trainer who sometimes seemed determined to destroy me. At first I hated him, then I fell in love with his way of leading (I love strong, commanding men). He taught me that “pain is fine”. Once I stopped stressing about pain, I found a great deal of beauty and excitement in it.

So what have you tried?

As I said, quite a lot. Leaving vanilla aside, I have my own slave, and I have tried various types of bondage, physical punishment and beating, ball torture (paddling the balls is especially nice), pegging and a chastity cage — so even when my slave is not with me, he has to keep thinking about me, whether he wants to or not.

I also like leading someone on a collar. I do not mean classic dog play, which I find fairly boring, but simply turning a slave into a humiliated servant who stays at his mistress’s feet, always ready to grant her any wish, including licking her clean in the loo after she pees.

How did you end up editing a BDSM magazine?

Essentially by chance. While job hunting I came across an ad looking for someone to write product copy for a sex shop. I enjoy writing and I enjoy sex, so I thought, why not try. When the boss found out at the interview that I move in the BDSM community, he wanted to make use of that. He had me write a first article — and it worked out. These days, when a new BDSM piece is written for our magazine, either I write it myself or I at least edit it.

So not just anyone can write that kind of content? Does it need checking?

Almost anyone can put together an article about BDSM, but it will never be the same as one written or checked by someone with first-hand experience. Practice shows you a new perspective, and that is priceless. Having contacts among people who have been in the community for years helps too, of course. Only then is the article genuinely useful and interesting for readers. And with some practices, if we got something wrong, people could actually hurt themselves. With suspension bondage, for instance, there is a lot that can go wrong.

How do you choose your topics?

Most often we write about things our customers keep asking about, or things they tell us themselves. And then we get a new product in, we work out everything you can do with it, and that leads us to interesting new practices it would be a shame not to cover. Stories from friends are sometimes very inspiring too. One friend of mine even shared her first BDSM experience in an interview for the Czech magazine Žena-in.

Stories from customers? Are they really that open?

You would be amazed at what some customers reveal in chat or in the shop. Some are shy, of course, but then there are those who will tell you their whole life story, or proudly list the toys they use at home. We get professional dommes, subs sent by their Mistress or Master to pick up a particular toy, and couples experimenting with all sorts of BDSM practices. You do hear things.

Can you share a gem?

We have one customer, a real handyman, who modifies his sex toys in all kinds of ways and is happy to show us on video how well they work afterwards. And another favourite of ours is the story of the lady who wanted to tie herself to her own bed and tickle herself.

Which practices are the most popular among your readers and customers?

You may be surprised, but in the BDSM world humiliation with a psychological edge is more common than inflicting pain. Punishment for disobeying your Mistress or Master is no walk in the park, obviously, but in the vast majority of cases it does not involve brutal, bloody or extremely painful practices. Among BDSM gear the best sellers are bondage items — cuffs, collars and rope — then chastity cages, nappies and dilators. To get started people often buy a flogger or a paddle, a blindfold and a gag as well.

You must have an interesting story or two of your own. Will you give something away?

I can give something away, yes. Once I was at my partner’s place and we swapped roles, so he was the dominant one. I was screaming and wailing (it was simply divine). But then his dog, who was fond of me, came running in, and when he saw my partner “hurting” me he started licking me like mad and defending me. So there I was, kneeling with my bum in the air, taking a beating from behind, my whole face being enthusiastically licked by a concerned little dog who occasionally barked at his owner and tried to shoo him away.

And since I have mentioned the dog, I remembered a friend thanks to whom I witnessed something rather interesting. She had a sub in training — she put a collar on him, stripped him completely and tied him up on the balcony. All he had out there was a dog bowl of water. She shut him out there and went off with me to a café for a chat. She did not come back for three hours. The whole time the man was exposed to incredible humiliation, with any neighbour or passer-by able to catch sight of him.

To close our interview, tell me what you would recommend to couples who are just starting out with BDSM.

I would definitely say do not be afraid to push your limits, discover your own sexuality, and stay open to things your partner likes even if they do not appeal to you all that much. You may be surprised how much you end up enjoying them. But agree things properly beforehand and talk through your worries and your limits.

And do not forget to agree a safe word or signal. Once you cross a line carelessly, trust is very hard to rebuild. You both have to feel absolutely safe. And I would certainly advise trying both roles, submissive and dominant, so you can understand your partner’s desires better.

Those are very useful pieces of advice, Mersey. Thank you for the interview, and I wish you plenty of interesting experiences at work and in your personal life.

Thank you, and I wish the same to you and to your readers.