Jake: Tantra taught me to love people and things as they are, and to respect them

Everyone knows there are massages for men and tantra courses of every kind. Finding a good masseur for women, though, is still unusual here — there are very few of them. Part of the reason is that women often want more than an erotic massage; they want to be understood. We sat down with one of the best masseurs in Prague: Jakub, known as Jake.

At Erofest, Jake is giving a Friday talk on conscious sexuality.

Among other things, you do tantric and dominant massage. What is the difference between the two?

Tantric massage is more nurturing. Dominant massage builds on fantasy, the Fifty Shades of Grey kind, and is more about surrendering through control and power. Otherwise the two are very close: both are sensual, I work with conscious touch, sensations and emotions come first, and the whole thing unfolds very naturally. You can move between them within a single massage — it is never a case of one or the other. It always depends on how a woman feels that day and what she will enjoy most.

When people hear the word tantra, I think some of them imagine it is largely a spiritual thing. For some it might even be a bit too “woo-woo”. Is that fair, or how would you explain tantra to a complete novice?

Tantra is an ancient philosophy that tries to understand the world around us and to find a way of developing our potential on both the physical and the mental level. It is a key to making the most of your time on this planet. Woo-woo and tantra are two different things. The woo-woo end of things is closer to religion, or to a cult. In India they have tantra and Hinduism; here Hinduism has been replaced by esotericism. But you do not need any of that — you can replace it with science, look at tantra through scientific eyes and try to grasp its principles in a modern way.

Tantra is not magic, and once you start to understand its principles you find they exist in cultures all over the world. For example, when you want to reach a goal, a tantric practitioner visualises it, a believer prays, and on a personal-development course they tell you to pin your goals up somewhere you can see them. It is all the same principle: you are setting your mind on reaching that goal.

How did you come to it? Did it bring you anything new, any insight — about yourself, perhaps?

I came to it through deeper experiences in sexuality. I think a lot of people need to experience something first before they start giving it any weight, and that is also why tantric massage came about. It completely changed my life, above all in that I now have full control over it. Having control over your life does not mean everything runs smoothly, though. Quite the opposite — it will probably be a pretty wild ride, but it teaches you to enjoy the ride whether you are heading up or down.

It taught me to follow my heart and do what I want to do. It taught me to love people and things as they are, and to respect them. And of course it took my own sexuality to a completely different level.

What do you like most about your work, and what do you like least?

I have never handed out so much genuine happiness and joy as I do during massage. It is wonderful to be part of the moment when a woman relaxes into hersexuality and her femininity and is simply herself. Trust, real intimacy, surrender, emotion, depth of experience. For many women it is the discovery of a sexuality they thought only existed in fairy tales. They cannot believe it. There is probably nothing I dislike, but what I find demanding is everything around it. Women are the most demanding clients you could pick for work like this. I have to put a lot of time and effort into removing their worries and showing them they can come and enjoy it no matter how afraid, embarrassed or nervous they are.

Is there a typical woman who comes to you for a massage, or does it vary? Are they shy?

Women come who are roughly 18 to 50 years old. From every walk of life. Single and attached. What they all share is a desire to connect with their sexuality, their body, their femininity and their love for themselves.

It is not about how much sex or attention they get from men — they have no trouble there. It is about depth of experience. These women feel inside that intimacy can be much deeper and more intense, and they want to open that up. They are all shy. They all have worries, and at some point they all feel nervous. Some more, some less. It is completely normal and I expect it during the massage. The most important thing for me is how a woman feels with me, and I know that whatever her worries are, I will always find a way to make her feel good.

Say I am a woman of 40 who would like to try a dominant massage with you, but I am embarrassed because I have no idea what to expect. Any advice?

Write to me. That is probably the most important thing. I message a lot with women and I know that just writing and talking about the massage often helps them get past a lot of the fear and embarrassment. From experience, when women write to me it helps them enormously. “Hi, I’d like a massage” is enough — I will take care of the rest. Age plays no part in it at all; every woman has her own individual worries and I will help her get past them.

The massage does not work like you turn up, I tie you to something and spank you for half an hour. As I said, I always go by how you feel that day, and even if we agree on a dominant massage, I still shape it around you and your feelings.

I usually start gently and add dominance gradually, depending on how much you like it. The massage is very natural and built so that it feels like a dream. I take you by the hand and guide you through the fantasy.

What do women praise you for most? Do they confide personal worries in you as well?

Most often they say that after a massage they glow like sunshine, and that it has a big positive effect on everyone around them. Female sexuality is closely tied to overall balance and a sense of happiness. When a woman connects with her body, her sexuality and her femininity, she feels far more herself — stronger and happier. Sometimes it changes a woman’s life fundamentally, sometimes she just comes to recharge her batteries. As for the massage itself, they praise how I helped them trust me and get past their fears, how natural and flowing the whole thing was, how deeply felt; they lose track of time, often switch their heads off, and they are grateful for the discovery that intimacy really can be deep and heartfelt.

Yes, they do confide in me. I am completely discreet and always glad to listen. It is not just about touching someone intimately — I am there for them in every way that helps them feel good and content.

Have you ever fallen for a client? Or the other way round, has a client ever fallen for you?

Both have happened.

Do you think Czech men treat women attentively? In bed, for instance?

I think men in the Czech Republic are about average. There are places in the world where women are treated far worse. That said, Czech men have huge potential to be better. Our society is fairly open about sexuality. The problem is not in men’s nature, but in the fact that nobody teaches them — while everyone expects them to know it all and to be able to lead a woman. Men have few role models they would want to follow in this area, so they often pick bad ones. I now run courses for men on how to learn to lead women and really understand what a woman expects of them. Plenty of men want to get better at this, and I can pass it on in a simple, comprehensible way.

Is there a sexual dogma you run into often in your work?

The biggest ones are probably about orgasm. For many people the orgasm is the measure of good sex, and sex turns into nothing but a chase for it. There is a name for that: masturbating with another person. You are not really there together — physically yes, but mentally one of you is replaying porn in their head and the other is thinking about a colleague at work. Sex then becomes impersonal and can even be frustrating. If, on the other hand, your sex life is about depth of experience, the most beautiful states arrive the moment you truly connect, when you are one mind and one body, completely present with your whole awareness, feeling what the other person feels. During a massage a woman often realises how deep and heartfelt it can be. And then the orgasm is far more beautiful too.

Is there a milestone you would like to reach in your career?

I am not trying to change the world. People have to change themselves. I just do what I love, and along the way I may help some people to a more beautiful experience of life. I give it absolutely everything, I do not do it anonymously, I am trying to build a brand and to tie my name inseparably to this area of sexuality and personal development. I try to take hold ofhuman fantasies and give them a real shape. Massage, workshops, courses, talks, performances, whatever I enjoy. I always like working with people who create from the heart. I want to go as far with this as I possibly can.

Is there anything you would like to say to our readers and to Erofest fans?

Keep feeding your sexual curiosity. Support sexual openness in our society and enjoy that freedom. Accepting your fantasies and desires is an important part of accepting yourself, and it brings an enormous sense of fulfilment. And above all, do things from the heart.

Website: www.tantramasazeprozeny.com

Instagram:www.instagram.com/jake.stripper.official