Edna: Shibari opens partners a world of intimacy, shared emotion, mutual respect and deep trust

Most people with an active interest in erotica will have come across your name in the media, so you are probably not a complete stranger to our readers either — but would you introduce yourself anyway, Edna?

I am a rigger and I work with shibari, Japanese rope bondage. I tie for pleasure in private, and I also run public events: some of them are educational, others are evenings built around shibari shows that are a treat to watch. As an organiser, a performer or a teacher I work not only here at home in the Czech Republic but at international events all over Europe. And when I happen not to be tying or working on some shibari project, I look after a sizeable four-legged crew — my partner Majkelína and I have several dogs, cats, lizards and horses.

Shibari, Japanese rope bondage — that sounds serious. Could you tell us more about what shibari actually is?

Shibari is only as serious as you make it, though there are certain principles that are specific to it. When we talk about bondage, meaning erotic immobilisation, we can be talking about a whole range of materials — leather cuffs, chains, tape, cling film, there is no limit to the imagination. If we decide to use rope to immobilise a partner, we have several options. Western bondage focuses mainly on restraining a partner for the sake of whatever comes next, whether that is sex, spanking or anything else. You simply take a rope, tie your partner to something and carry on playing; we all know this from adult videos. If the aesthetic side interests you more, you can tie decorative knots on your partner, weave the rope in intricate ways, even create patterns with it, with no immobilisation at all. That is called fusion, and it really does focus on how it looks, often without any erotic context. But when we talk about shibari, we are talking about tying that, beyond immobilisation, opens partners a world of intimacy, shared emotion, the experience of pain, mutual respect and deep trust. In shibari the tying is not only the route to a result, it is the goal in itself. The rigger, the person tying, uses the rope to shape both the mind and the body of the model, the person being tied. He or she takes responsibility for what comes next, decides how the partner will feel, decides the strength and the nature of the emotions. The rigger works with pain, with shame, with surrender, with dominance and submission, and allows the other person to let go of everyday cares for a while and, held by the ropes, sink deep into themselves. Another thing specific to tying in the Japanese tradition is the use of natural rope, most often jute.

If shibari is about sharing emotion, where does sex come into it?

Shibari as we know it today has its roots in Japanese porn shot in the 1980s and 1990s, so it goes hand in hand with sex. In Japan it became popular above all through the torment of fragile young women, not only physically but psychologically. Japanese women, raised over generations to be reserved and to show no emotion at all, are deeply humbled by even a hint of forced nudity or sexual practice, so shibari can strike genuinely intense emotion out of women who seem cold. To understand shibari more deeply it is important to look at it in a wider context and to bear in mind the social differences between Japan and the West. In the West shibari became popular for several reasons, and in my view the link with sex is not the first of them — although plenty of people here cannot imagine sex without tying, or tying without sex. In any case, shibari built on intimacy without a sexual context is becoming more and more widespread. People often tie in order to share intimacy and physical closeness; they tie for the pain, for relaxation, for dominance and submission, for rest, to push their own limits, or for the aesthetics. In some respects modern shibari is closer to visual art or physical exercise than to a sexual practice, but it is very individual and you cannot generalise strictly. It is entirely up to us, the people who tie, how we organise our tying and which pleasures we build it on.

You say the Japanese tormented women with rope. Did that happen against their will?

The Japanese have always had a peculiar relationship with their women, so I would not dare say what may have gone on behind closed doors. But if we are talking about publicly available material, then the tying happened, and happens, with the consent of everyone involved.

And in the West?

Western society has somewhat different values and a different way of communicating between partners, and the BDSM world has evolved to a point where consent and safety come first. The same holds in shibari — partners agree in advance how the tying will go, they agree on the limits that both of them will respect, and they know beforehand what they hope for from tying together and what they would like the ropes to let them experience. It is the responsibility of everyone involved to honour those limits without exception. Any breach meets with absolute disapproval, and if it emerges in the community that a rigger has crossed the line and subjected their partner to practices that were not agreed, the consequences are usually serious.

What is it about tying that you enjoy so much?

I could answer that one for several hours straight and still probably not cover every aspect of tying that I love about shibari. But if I try to be as brief as possible: as a dominant sadist I enjoy having things absolutely under control and taking pleasure in the suffering of the woman in the ropes — within the agreed limits, of course. As someone with a visual appetite I enjoy the sight of the beauty of the human body underlined by rope, and as an ordinary mortal I enjoy the closeness and the intimacy. Paradoxically, though, I am someone who likes her personal space and does not like sharing it with all comers, so tying with strangers is hard for me.

So if someone asked you to tie them, they would be out of luck?

I used to try to say yes to all those requests and wanted to help practically anyone who wanted to discover the magic of tying. I enjoyed sharing my great passion, I enjoyed showing people how varied the world of rope is. In time I reached a point where it started to drain me, and every further meeting over a drink or over ropes cost me an enormous amount of energy. So I cut it back and now I tie only with people who are genuinely close to me — two or three women at most. I do tie women I do not know, and occasionally men, for photo shoots, but there is not usually room there for deep emotional processes, so I see it more as time off spent creatively, and I enjoy it. So yes, when someone approaches me and asks whether I would like to tie them, I politely decline.

Is tying connected with sex for you?

That depends on who I am tying with, of course. With my partner, yes; with friends, no. In any case, sex as such is not the most interesting thing about tying, in my eyes — though I am not saying that combining the two does not work 🙂

Can anyone tie?

Absolutely. I have seen people with disabilities tie, and it neither stopped them nor put them off. I have seen people of all sizes and all levels of fitness tie, and even those who stood out from the average were not discouraged. I think it is mainly a question of will, and where there is a will there is a way.

Is shibari safe, or are there risks involved?

Shibari is dangerous and carries a whole range of potential risks. It is very important that both rigger and model have at least a general understanding of those risks, and they definitely need plenty of common sense. Workshops often cover general safety and everything you need to watch out for while tying. Tying on the ground carries considerably fewer risks, but suspension is, without question, fairly dangerous. Ropes can snap and the person tied can fall to the floor, the suspension point can give way, a person can faint, be sick, have an epileptic seizure or a panic attack. The biggest bogeyman is nerve injury, which follows compression of a nerve, most often the radial nerve. It shows up in various ways and lasts for varying lengths of time, but it can lead to loss of sensation or even loss of movement in the fingers, the hand or the whole wrist. I try to explain to my students how important it is to keep learning about safety and above all not to rest on your laurels; you have to stay alert all the time.

How do you get started? What do you need in order to tie?

It usually starts with curiosity and some quiet call to satisfy a secret wish. The first step is often the internet: you look for information, read articles, watch videos, try to meet people on forums. For me that is a good start, but I do not advise my students to rely on information from the internet and I do not recommend learning to tie from YouTube or Vimeo. Not because all those videos are necessarily bad, but because the vast majority are made by beginner riggers eager to share their freshly acquired knowledge with the wide world, and they often make mistakes on camera. From a video you also almost never learn the crucial things about safety: what to do when there is an injury or a problem, how much tension the rope should have, how to adapt a tie for a particular person with a particular issue. There is far too much of it to fit into an instructional video. In my view the important thing is to go to workshops with an experienced teacher and learn under a rigger who understands rope and is ready to explain things in real depth. A teacher should be prepared to answer every question and to explain how tying works. The alternative to workshops is private tuition, which suits people who are shy, who value their privacy, or who are looking for a really intensive way of learning.

What should someone do if they are interested in shibari but do not have a suitable partner?

They can certainly try to meet people online, but personally I swear by meeting like-minded people in person. You can meet someone at a workshop or at an evening with a shibari show, or generally at any event of that kind. Workshops are in the vast majority of cases for couples, but now and then I run a workshop for singles — for riggers who want to learn the basics safely but do not yet have anyone to tie.

Where can someone interested in tying go in the Czech Republic?

As I mentioned, there are events of various kinds. Most often there are workshops, each with a set topic, for beginners and advanced alike. Most of them take place in Prague, but other larger Czech cities have their own communities too, and with a bit of luck and some googling you can find a workshop near where you live. Besides educational events there are purely party ones; the biggest here is Rope Spirit, which I organise together with studio Hell twice a year. I invite renowned guests from abroad and visitors can look forward to five or six shows with the best riggers working today. Because there are several shows, I can put the programme together so that as many styles of tying as possible are on display and there really is something for everyone. The programme and further information are on ropespirit.cz. And if you like your shows a little harder and beyond the boundaries of shibari, I recommend Fetish Weekend, a four-day festival of BDSM and everything that goes with it, shibari included.